I remember the early days of dementia and trying to explain a simple task to her. Her frustration would boil over, and after hours of miscommunication and mutual frustration, she once turned to my husband and said, “I can’t talk to her. Will you explain? She doesn’t make any sense at all!” Moments like this were heartbreaking, but they also taught me the importance of finding alternative approaches to communicating.
Let’s explore some methods that might help when words become difficult.
Change the Subject – If you find yourself stuck in a communication loop, try changing the subject and returning to it later.
Keep It Simple – Turn off distractions like the television or radio and focus fully on the person you’re communicating with. Speak clearly and keep your message as straightforward as possible.
Gentle Reminders – If something has been forgotten, such as brushing teeth, offer a gentle reminder. Avoid embarrassing them or drawing too much attention to the oversight.
Maintain Eye Contact – Eye contact and active listening are powerful tools. When you’re fully present, it reassures the other person that they don’t need to rush or worry about forgotten words.
Don’t Speak for Them – Even in late stages, when communication becomes incredibly limited, it’s important not to speak for the person.
Don’t Disagree – When possible, agree on simple things. If they say, “It’s cold outside,” respond with, “Yes, it is today.” Disagreeing can exacerbate feelings of confusion and frustration, so focus on validating their experience.
Ask Alternative Questions – Instead of open-ended questions, offer a choice. For example, ask, “Chicken or pasta for lunch?” rather than “Would you like lunch?” This gives the person an easier way to engage and respond.
Walk Away – If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break. Let them know you’ll step away briefly and return. Taking time out can give you the space to think of a better approach and come back with renewed patience.
If you’d like to share your experiences or hear ideas from others, join our supportive community at www.facebook.com/groups/dementiatalk/. Together, we can navigate this journey with empathy and understanding.
